


Remember Me?

by 123Brooksie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:27:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2195190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/123Brooksie/pseuds/123Brooksie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Description = not necessary. Just try the first chapter. See if you can stop reading.</p><p>okay im like sorry... I just reread this whole thing and i fixed that big FAT HUGE ugly mistake i made. So there, now its perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittyotakuwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyotakuwriter/gifts).



I run out of the water, onto the dry sand. I'm weighed down by all the bombs strapped to my chest and the heavy pack on my back. To go from the water to dry land with all of this equipment attached to me is a struggle that could only be compared to carrying an elephant.

"Eren! Get down!" Jean screams.

I immediately drop to my stomach as a bomb erupts where my body once was. The cracking sound and ground tremors are the only thing my senses pick up. My sense of touch and sight are gone.

"It was just a stun, they aren't trying to kill us yet. Everyone this way, and if you can't see then crawl towards my voice." Jean yells.

He's the Senior Chief Petty Officer, the highest in rate on the land right now. We had to listen to him during training and on the boats. 

I can hear the sound of his radio.

"SCPO come in, repeat, come in SCPO." It says.

"Copy." Jean yells.

"Coordinates of the Alaric have been lost, repeat, the coordinates are lost. Where is the Alaric, over." It says.

"The Alaric was targeted and defeated. It's sunk. Military and Navy are stranded on enemy territory. Send reinforcements, repeat send reinforcements, over." Jean says.

Another bomb erupts near us. I can feel the heat and a searing pain shoots up my back.

"Jaeger. You're falling behind. Put on your mask, you idiot." Chief Jean says.

I quickly pull my mask over my nose and instead of helping, it makes it harder to breathe.

"This way!" Jean says.

I can hear a woman screaming. That's right. The ship exploded meaning the nurses and cooks were going through this as well, if they haven't drowned already.

I feel a few bullets go through my backpack and one flies into my arm, at the elbow I think. I try to continue crawling but I can't feel my right arm at all. Was it shot off? No my fingers, I can feel them. Thank god.

"Sir. This is SA Jaeger. I am wounded. I've been shot in the arm and I cannot feel it. I also cannot see. I'm afraid my journey ends here. It's been an honor serving my country." I say.

I feel someone crawl over me, then more people. I flick open my eyes and my sense of sight is returning. Everything is red, but it's still better than being completely blind.

The chief himself grabs my wounded arm and someone else grabs my other arm.

"There's a cave up ahead. We're almost there." Jean says.

His grip on my arm is unbearable as the feeling slowly circulates back to it.

A few more bullets go through my pack. Another terrifying bomb explodes and it makes my entire body tingle, then my body is extremely hot.

"1300 degree Celsius hot oil bomb." The person dragging my other arm whispers. That voice? Is this a woman? This is the strongest woman I've ever encountered.

The sounds of war intensifies. Bombs and bullets fly everywhere. The audio builds to a crescendo until- it's gone, but it's not completely gone. It sounds sort of in the background.

"Chief, the Stoic and Green Linnet are on their way, do you copy?" The radio echoes.

I don't quite understand it, but the radios voice calms me down. It sounds familiar. Maybe it was calming only because reinforcements were granted and on their way.

Jean and the woman drop both my arms and my face falls into the ground.

"The Stoic is T-15 minutes off of shore. Chief do you copy?" The radio asks.

I open my eyes and flashlights are shining everywhere. I take in my surroundings. Muddy floor, thick smell of blood, warm, rock walls, we're in the cave.

"I hear yah loud and clear, commander. Over." Jean says.

"Enemy target was destroyed by SS-173, a minute ago. Chief get the men somewhere safe, just in case." The commander says.

"Roger." Jean says simply.

He peels me off of the floor and leans me against a wall.

"Jaeger. Why did you give up so easily?" Chief asks giving me a serious glare.

I gulp. Why did he have to ask me that? "I-I don't know." I say with undisguised shame, 

I really didn't know. I had been in battle for about three years already and I'd never been wounded until today. I'm a seaman's apprentice, not a foot soldier. I help the seaman with the sails and steering and only once have I even seen a missile. 

"What is your rate young soldier?" He asks, his gaze softens.

"I'm a seaman's apprentice, 6 months." I say.

"Well I am upgrading you to a seaman." He says.

My eyes widen. "W-what? Why?" I ask. "I cowardly gave up. The reason I am in this cave is because you and a woman dragged me here." I say.

"It's more because of what you said rather than what you did. Those were intended to be your last words correct?" He asks.

I nod.

"You had nothing personal to say. You didn't beg for help. You accepted death and were ready to die for your country. I respect that. Somehow I can tell that you are extremely smart. Don't disappoint me." He says.

My throat clogs with emotion. To earn respect from the Chief, that is a pretty big deal for me.

"Thank you sir. I won't." I say sincerely.

"No, thank you, Seaman Eren Jaeger." The Chief says.

It warms my heart. Instead of "Seaman Apprentice Eren Jaeger" I am now simply "Seaman Eren Jaeger." I'm one step closer to becoming a petty officer.

"Now, are you still hurt? Was that just shock?" The nurse asks me. She drags her knees along the floor until she's sitting in front of me.

As I look around I notice she is the only woman left. Out of seven nurses she is the only one left.

"It's my arm. I was shot in the arm. My back also stings a little." I explain.

She crawls close to me and grabs my left arm. I shake my head and her eyes widen as she grabs the right.

"You are?" She asks.

"Right handed." I say. I play sports with my left and I write with the right. My left arm is my strongest, but accuracy is the greatest in my right.

She shakes her head.

"How old are you?" She asks.

I hate answering this.

"Seventeen." I say softly, under my breath.

She gasps. "How long have you been in battle?" She asks. She let's her fingertips stroke my arm gently. The gesture makes me shiver, or maybe it was because I'm cold and wet.

"I've been fighting since fourteen and training since twelve. I completed about a month of middle school then I left for about two months to train. When I came back they sent me straight to Highschool" I say quickly. I'm so used to telling this story.

"So you were twelve in High school..." She says with disbelief.

I nod. "After my mom died and my dad disappeared, my way of coping was becoming obsessed with sciences and math." I explain.

"Oh..." She says. That's what everyone says. "I'm Mikasa Ackerman. A1C." She says reaching her hand out to my left hand.

That's why this woman was so strong, she's a first class Airmen.

"Airmen, first class." She says.

"Eren Jaeger, seaman's appren- Seaman." I say clearing my throat and shaking her hand.

"Reinforcements are here. This is command master chief petty officer Levi reporting that reinforcements are on the shoreline, over." He says.

My mind bleaches. That voice. That name. They were so familiar.

Evacuation is easy, with no enemies shooting at us and being escorted by reinforcements. A strong man helps me onto the Green Linnet. The wounded are escorted to the far left of the deck and are told to wait for the nurses.

Levi. Who is he?

A short man walks towards us wounded soldiers. My eyes dart to his black tuxedo, then to the badge on his arm. His insignia has two silver stars, one perched eagle, one silver star taking the place of rating insignia, and one rocker above three chevrons. This is the CMCPO, the commander. This is Levi. When he's in close enough range, I get a good view of his face and have a disturbing flashback.

 

-

 

It was back in Highschool. I bumped into a man, a man named Levi in one of the large hallways.

"You know this hall is strictly for juniors and seniors right?" He asks looking down at me. That was before I hit puberty. "How old are you anyway?" He asks.

I look down at my little map and as soon as I catch my breath I attempt to answer him, I remember being so scared. "Twelve sir. Thirteen in a few months. I'm sorry." I answer.

"Don't call me sir. I hate being called that." He says. His voice was so smooth, there was no interpretable emotion in it.

"I'm sorry..." I trail off because I don't know what to call him.

"Levi." He says.

"Mr. Levi." I say.

"No, just Levi. Don't be sorry, just don't do it again." He says.

 

-

 

I snap back to present day when I realize I'm being talked to.

"Hey. You retarded or something?" Commander asks.

"No sir!" I yell.

He groans.

"The commander doesn't like being called sir." Jean says. He lights a cigarette then places it in his mouth.

No way. This couldn't mean that...

"Well are you going to answer my question?" He asks. He looks bored and uninterested.

"My apologies I seem to have forgotten your question." I say.

He snorts. "What happened to you? How are you injured? Judging by your low level of sense I think it's safe to assume you were hit in the head." He asks.

"Oh I was a shot in the arm. And on my back, 1300 degree hot oil bomb." I say.

His eyebrows raise slightly. "That probably hurts but I'm impressed. You know about bombs?" He asks.

I honestly didn't, I was only repeating what Mikasa had said but I nod anyway.

"Was it Fahrenheit?" He asks. By the way he says Fahrenheit, I can tell he has a light accent. Was it Russian?

Was it Fahrenheit? Is that what she said? No. I shake my head. "Celsius." I say.

He walks closer to me and grabs my forearm. It makes me gasp then pushes me into another flashback.

 

-

 

About a month after I bumped into Levi in the hall he came to my house. I don't really remember how we became friends but he was my closest friend. He was my friend until the day we became more. 

"Is this your room?" He asks walking into my house. I follow him inside and close the door behind me.

"This is the living room." I say laughing a little. That's right. It was the time when I knew how to laugh.

Levi plops down on the couch. "Is this where you sleep?" He asks. It makes me laugh twice as hard.

"Why are you laughing?" Levi asks. "I sleep on a couch in my room." He says.

"I don't know. I told you this was the living room. And that seems really uncomfortable. You've never slept in a bed before?" I ask with disbelief.

He shakes his head. "Show me yours." He says softly. He looks up into my eyes.

My eyes widen.

 

-

 

"JAEGER!" Levi screams. It wakes me back into my current situation and I snap my head up to Levi. "The bullet entered through here." He says touching the red and blood stained skin underneath my wound. "Then it snapped the bone. Your lucky it was a clean cut. Actually that is quite miraculous. The bullet then exited through here." He says touching the back of my arm. "Your arm is broken but it will heal nicely." He says.

Before he can walk away I call his attention.

"Sir. What High-school did you go to?" I ask.

He stops walking but doesn't turn to face me.

"Don't call me sir, and I don't talk about my personal life." He murmurs.

"I'm sorry." I apologize. I always apologize even when I know I have no reason to. It's just something I've always done.

"Don't be sorry just don't do it..." He trails off. "Again..." He says softly.

He turns to look back at me and his eyes widen as he stares at my face. His chest rise and fall more quickly and I can hear his breathing from where I'm sitting.

"How old are you? No wait. Don't tell me. I'll be leaving now." Levi says. He quickly walks away.

Now there is no doubt. He's Levi. He's Levi from Highschool. How could I not know. I recognize the feeling of his hands, I could never forget it. They were slightly calloused looking, but extremely soft. They were back then, and they are now. Thinking really hard, I can remember the first time he touched me.

 

-

 

I lead Levi up the stairs. There's nothing weird about a twelve year old showing a seventeen year old his room. That's what I thought.

I open the door and turn on the light. He slides his hand over mine and switches the light back off.

"Let's leave the lights off." He says.

"But... But I can't see anything." I say. I can feel myself becoming a nervous wreck.

"That's the point dummy. You're supposed to be so smart. You skipped what, five grades?" He asks.

"Four." I say. "I went from sixth to tenth." I explain.

"Well okay." Levi says sitting on my bed. "Don't play so dumb then." He says.

He reaches for my hand and I hesitantly give it to him. 

"Eren." He says stroking the skin on my hand with his thumb. "You know I turn eighteen in a week." He says.

I nod.

He tightens his grip on my hand and then yanks me to the bed. I fall on his lap and he flips me so I'm laying beneath him. His leg is threatening in between my thighs. It nudges my private parts and the feeling makes me clench my eyes shut.

"Let's try something Eren." He says.

"Try what?" I ask although I pretty much knew what he had in mind.

"After I'm eighteen we won't be able to do this again until you are eighteen. That's why I want to try it now, before it's too late." He says.

He unbuckles my belt and slides his hands in my pants.

"I don't know how to do this." I say hysterically.

I was scared to death. This man was twice my weight, he was beyond stronger than me, and no matter what he wears his muscles are always clearly defined through his shirts. Now he is on top of me, sliding my pants down my legs.

"What if you like it?" I ask, unable to open my eyes.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm going to like it." He says removing his own pants.

 

"What if you find out you like it a lot? You'll have to wait six years to do it again." I say.

"I'd wait a thousand years." Levi says.

I smile.

Levi lifts my knees to the sides of my face.

"My underwear..." I pant.

"It's your first time. I don't want it to be disgusting, so I left your underwear on. When you cum it will stay inside of your underwear." He says.

I snort. "Yeah right, you just don't want to get dirty." I say.

He giggles a little, then sucks his pointer finger.

"This might feel a little weird." He says lowering his finger to my bottom. He moves my underwear to the side then applies pressure to my hole, slowly sliding it in.

"AHH! It's alright, it's alright." I yell with heavy breathing.

"It hurts?" He asks wriggling his finger around.

"Mmph. It's just a little uncomfortable." I lie.

He smiles and puts my legs on top of his shoulders.

"Open wide for me." Levi says like a dentist.

I idiotically open my mouth, cheeks turning bright red I am sure. Hearty laughter booms through the room as Levi stretches my legs open.

"Are you that stupid?" He asks.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Don't be sorry, you're always sorry." He says. He slowly pushes inside of me.

I try to be strong for him. I try not to yell, but I can't help it. It hurts but I want to be closer to him. I want us to be connected this way. I want him to touch me like this.

 

-


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up in an unfamiliar room.

"Eren it's me, Mikasa." A woman says.

My eyes flutter open, it's the nurse/airman from the cave. 

I'm laying on my stomach in a hospital bed by a bunch of other wounded soldiers. I can feel the cool sea breeze on my bare back and legs. I study the room and many soldiers are naked, laying on their stomachs. Most of them have white bandages wrapped around their torsos and a thin sheet over their bottoms. I probably lay similarly to them.

"We had to put you to sleep to fix your arm. You seemed to be having a pleasant dream. There's ointment on your back. I rubbed it in, that's probably what woke you up. You have a second degree burn meaning the dermis layer of your skin is badly damaged. I think it could be considered a third degree since it doesn't seem to hurt you. Your skin is healing nicely already though." She explains.

She rolls off her latex gloves.

"Does it look bad?" I ask.

She laughs. "I usually hear something like 'Is it infected?' Or 'will I live?' But your something special Eren. It doesn't look bad. It did before I got the dead skin off. Your back is remarkably one color. You really are the luckiest soldier I've ever seen. There are a few red patches but they are pretty camouflaged." She says.

"That's a relief." I say with a laugh.

She laughs softly. "So have you known the commander for a while?" She asks.

I lift my chest off the mobile bed and look around at Mikasa.

"Why do you ask?" I ask I'm kind of frantic.

"W-well, your dream. You were talking a little." She says.

Oh god. What did I say?

"Oh yeah? What about?" I ask trying to sound as casual as possible.

She blushes and I feel my heart drop.

"Well you see... At the time you had the dream we were working on your arm.." She says her blush getting deeper.

"And?" I say impatiently.

"Well you were face up and..." She says. Oh no. "Erect." She whispers.

I let my cheek fall back against the bed. It is embarrassing but there isn't much I can do about it.

"So how long have you known him?" She asks.

I sigh. I don't know how much she's heard but I could die any minute. I might as well tell someone.

"I met Levi when I was in tenth grade. He was a Junior. The dream I had was more of a flashback of the first time he touched me intimately." I say.

I want to hide my face when I see her eyes widen.

"The commander has done things like that? I've been around him for as long as he's been a soldier and he's never done anything with anyone. I thought he was frigid. He doesn't hate things like that after all." She says.

It almost amuses me. "No he is quite frigid." I say. its the truth he only wanted sex at the most random moments. 

I sit up, not caring if this woman sees my privates, I mean she's obviously seen it before if I'm under here naked.

Her eyes briefly flick down from my face, but quickly rebound to my face. She doesn't even blush. A lesbian?

A soldier on the other end of the deck begins to holler and Mikasa runs to him. After a few minutes he quiets down. I'm guessing she gave him a sleeping drug.

She walks back towards me with a gloved hand. Her pointer finger is greasy. My mouth drops.

"Please don't tell me you slipped my sleeping drug up my butt also." I say. I know she changes her gloves frequently but still, it was disgusting to think her finger went inside of me from that way.

She rolls the glove from her wrist to a small garbage can.

"I did. Sorry. It's an anal only drug," Mikasa mumbles. "Eren I'm going to get you some lunch." She says walking away.

"JAEGER!" Someone screams.

I snap my head towards the voice and it is none other than Levi.

"Sir!" I scream saluting him.

He marches up to me.

"Don't call me that you fucking idiot." He yells at me, stopping in front of my bed.

"Why were you up here hollering?" He asks.

I frown. "W-what it wasn't me." I say defensively.

"Arguing with me is insubordination." Levi says.

"I'm not arguing. I'm telling you the truth." I yell.

His eyes dip from my face to my lap and when he brings his face back up his cheeks are red.

"God, put that thing away." Levi says under his breath.

"You don't like it? It's not like you have to look at it and besides we're both men right?" I spit out.

"You're repulsive." He says simply. "Now. What's this about you giving your life when you were stranded on the island?" Levi asks.

I shamefully look down. Why did i do that? Looking back on it now it seems like such an ignorant move. "Jean upgraded my rate because of that." I say in my defense anyway. 

Levi's hand comes towards my face and I dodge it. "What the hell?" I shout.

He grabs my ankle and the back of my neck and flips me on to my back. He moves his hand from around my ankle to holding down my injured arm.

I shriek in pain. "I'm sorry!" I shout.

"Now Eren, that's your second incident. I am your superior. You did not answer my question." Levi says. He moves his lips to my ear. "You're sweating now, and you're shaking. Could it be that the boy Jean saw so much potential in is afraid of his superior?" He whispers.

His grip tightens on my arm making my breathing deepen.

"And now you're panting. What's really going on here Eren?" He asks.

"I'm sorry. My, my arm it hurts!" I shout.

"Don't worry I don't intend on holding you down all night like I used to do in highschool." He breathes in my ear. My eyes fly open.

"That's right Eren. I do remember. I remember everything. I remember your crying face when I first penetrated you, I remember taking off your underwear after our first time and how messy your underwear were. I remember your constant apologizing for no good reason. I remember everything." He says. His grip loosens on my neck, then is completely removed.

"Why were you so ready to give up your life? How could you possibly just throw away gods precious gift like it's no less than a wrapper off of a piece of candy?" Levi growls in my ear grabbing on to my other arm.

I try to lift my head.

"Don't look at me." He says holding my head down.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ok?" I shout as his weight increases on my injured arm. "Please, you're breaking my arm." I beg.

"Your arm is already broken. If you really wanted me off of you, you would've answered me when I first asked you the question." Levi explains.

He's right, he did ask me first a while ago.

"I-I was injured. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone." I say.

"Really? By injured you mean your arm?" He says squeezing it to emphasize his question.

"Yes." I whisper, my eyes closed shut tightly.

His hands leave my arms and I sigh in relief.

"And your back is injured too?" He asks.

"It is." I whisper.

His cold, soft fingers land on my back and I moan in pleasure. His cool fingers against my scorching back, it feels heavenly.

"Your flesh is heated Eren." He says rubbing my back. "And these slightly reddened areas are from scraped away dead skin aren't they?" He asks.

"It is Sir." I say and immediately catch my error. He lightly scrapes his nails down my back, it makes my breath hitch. "I'm sorry." I say.

"Oh that's just like you. You've never liked inconveniencing anyone and that's why you apologize so much. I knew it was you from the first time I heard you say sorry." Levi whispers in my ear, and then he's gone.

I quickly sit up and look around and see him walking away from me.

"Levi!" I yell.

He looks at me from the corner of his eye, but keeps walking.


	3. Chapter 3

-

 

I was a thirteen year old in the eleventh grade when Levi finally took me to his house.

"So this is Levi's house?" I ask with a big smile, walking into the high ceilinged apartment room.

"Well we've been together for a few months and you've been asking like everyday." He says with a smirk.

As my eyes dart around swiftly I am quickly disappointed. There is only a couch, a rug, and a dresser in the room he sleeps in.

I walk further in his room and just stare. I love the pure looking white walls.

"Eren." I feel on my neck.

I turn around and Levi is standing almost nose to nose with me, well nose to the middle of my eyebrows.

"Let's try something." He says moving his lips towards mine.

"Don't you have the seniors bonfire today?" I ask slightly moving my head back.

"You think I care about those people?" He asks.

I smile and allow him access to my lips. He punishes me with a brutal kiss and then pushes me on his couch.

"I want you on your knees this time." Levi says. His cheeks bloom to a dull pink color and he raises his hand to his hair, scratching nervously.

This will be the eighth time Levi and I have sex. I've never done it without facing Levi. How could I, without his face assuring me everything is going to be okay?

I get on my knees on his couch and pull my shirt above my head.

"Levi, on second thought we shouldn't try it like this after all." I say nervously.

Levi slides his hands from my hips to my belt, unfastening it. "Come on Eren, let's try it for a bit, then we'll do it the normal way." He begs.

I don't reply, I simply allow him to pull my pants down.

"Thanks Eren. You're the best. I love you so much." He says, his mouth all over my shoulders. His penis suddenly attempts to break inside of me. I holler.

"You're supposed to tell me when your about to..." I begin, cut off by a hard thrust. "Levi?!" I shout.

He never listens to me during sex anymore.

"Ah Eren, it feels so good. So very good." He says. That's what he always says.

He thinks he can use me in this way, then suck me off and everything will be fine.

 

-

 

That was the last time I saw Levi until a couple weeks ago. How many years has it been? Almost four now.

I wake up and my arm is extremely soar. I'm also no longer on the deck. Is it nighttime? How long have I been asleep? I don't even remember falling asleep. Was I slipped another drug? After it was given atleast this time Mikasa had the decency to put my underwear back on.

I stumble out of the little cabin and as my stomach notices the rocking of the ship I feel sick, so very sick.

I cling on to the walls as I make my way towards anything. The boat takes a particularly low dip to the right and I fall to my knees. I am a seaman, I've never been seasick. Maybe I was actually sick.

I hear the floor boards creek and I quickly look up. It's Jean wearing only a towel around his waist and a brace on his leg.

"Eren?" He questions.

"Sir." I say trying to raise to my feet.

He lends me his hand. "You don't look so good, and you missed dinner. Wait here." He instructs.

He quickly walks away, disappearing around the corner.

Levi turns the same corner and slowly struts down the hallway.

"Eren. Why aren't you in your cabin? Why are you parading around in your underwear?" Levi asks.

"Because I... I forgot where I was going." I say.

"You look like shit. Go to bed." He says walking past me.

"Why did you leave me?" I mumble. Oh god I did not.

He looks back at me with a curious expression. "Why what?" He asks.

"Oh I said where are you going." I say, relieved that I covered that quickly.

"No you didn't." He says. "I'm going to get something from my cabin. You need to go to sleep." He says turning the next corner.

I decide to sit back down and my eyes flutter shut.

When I wake up I'm in the Chief's cabin and my head is spinning.

"Sir?" I call.

I can feel rubbing on my back. What's going on?

"It's okay Eren. Your in my bed. I'm rubbing antibiotics on your back. You might be a little infected since your so tired all of the time. It's just a precaution." Jean says.

In this situation I thought I'd be uncomfortable, I mean I'm only wearing briefs and he's only wearing a towel but it feels good.

"Sir why are you doing this for me?" I ask. Superiors usually act like Levi towards their subordinates, uncaring and unsocial.

He stops rubbing my back and I sit up to look at him.

"Eren, you're my favorite soldier. No one else has the passion that you do. You wear your heart out on your sleeve and you fight with it." He says.

He takes a small bottle out of his drawer and drinks all the contents within.

"I'm very honored to hear that sir, thank you. You know I look up to you." I explain.

His eyes widen. "Really? I'm honored to hear that Eren. Anyways I think you should get back to your cabin. And sleep on your stomach those antibodies were expensive." He says with a laugh.

It makes me warm.

He helps me on my feet and out the door. "Can you make it back fine?" He asks. He is the exact opposite of Levi. Levi saw how sick I was and did nothing but shout at me while Jean on the other hand, is so caring and kind.

"Yeah thanks for everything." I say.

Levi suddenly passes. He looks me in the eye for a split second and then he's gone. I get how this looks. I don't want him to think oddly of this but with my fatigue I can't possibly chase him.

"Eren you should stay up for a little bit and then go to sleep. You can't sleep an entire day. You're almost home." Jean says.

That's right. This would be the first time I'm home in years.

I nod. "Goodnight sir." I say walking away.

So that's already three people who have seen me with too little, or no clothes on at all. I realize that as I'm walking to my cabin in my underwear.

When I get there Levi is leaning against my door.

"Eren." Levi says grabbing my arm.

He backs into my room and shoves me in after him.

"Levi?!" I yell.

I land on the bed on my back.

"Eren. You must think I'm pretty stupid, don't you?" He says closing and securing the door.

"Your the Commander, why on earth would I think that?" I say.

He walks toward me and stands in front of my laying, quivering figure. What is this attitude?

"I saw you with the chief. Is that how you ranked up? Were you a good little fuck. Did you scream and holler his name?" Levi asks, his arms crossed over his chest.

"No!" I shout.

"No what? Oh were you on top? Was he the one screaming your name?" Levi says uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on his hips.

"How could you even think that? I haven't had sex since the last time you and I did it. Not that I hadn't had the opportunity I just didn't want to!" I shout.

"Who the hell are you raising your voice at." He says. His tone was softer. Did he believe me?

"I'm sorry." I whisper, looking up at him.

He wipes some sweat off of his forehead.

"So you just casually walk around in your underwear?" He asks.

"I left my room for a moment and I woke up in the Chief's." I explain, sitting up on my bed.

"You woke up in his room?" Levi asks with a frown.

"Yeah and he rubbed some antibodies on my back."

"Were you on his bed?" He asks.

Why does he care?

"I-I was." I say.

He surprises me by sitting next to me on the bed.

"So you were asleep in another man's bed, with little panties on, and him rubbing oil on your back?" He asks.

I blush at his choice of words.

"Well... Yeah..." I answer.

"He could've done anything to you. He could've stole a kiss or a peek underneath your underwear. And close your legs a little." Levi says, saying the last bit under his breath.

I press my knees together. Why does he care? Why does he care about any of this? Should I ask him.

I have this man that I used to be romantically involved with sitting about an inch away from me.

 

"Y-you seem to care a lot about my business." I say in a hushed tone.

He snorts. "Oh please Eren. Don't get ahead of yourself. You think I still want to be sexual and romantic with you?" He asks with a laugh.

"Well would that be so wrong? We never officially broke up. You just went away. Technically you and I are still dating." I say.

"That was years ago Eren. You should drop it and move on." Levi says standing up.

No. I'm not ready for him to just walk out of my life again. The day after his eighteenth birthday he basically vanished. He wasn't at school, the landlord told me he moved out of his apartment. He was just out of my life completely for years and now here he is.

I grab his belt with my uninjured arm, making him turn to face me.

"Eren please stop." He whispers with pity.

"Levi. Let's try something." I say.

His eyes widen and he tries to walk away from me. I tighten my grip on his pants until I just lunge at him and wrap my arms around his waist. His belt buckle pokes into my wrist as I lean onto the bed, pulling him towards me then on top of me.

"Please Levi. Please I haven't felt it in so long. Just for a little." I beg.

I open my legs for him and pull his hips to mine.

"Please." I whisper, my mouth against his ear.

Levi puts his hands on the bed next to both sides of my face.

"I'm too tired." He says in a dry tone.

"No Levi. Please. I ache inside." I beg. I won't let him leave.

"I can't, I just can't. Go to sleep." Levi says. He truly sounds sorry.

I let him go. I let him climb off of me, I let him climb off the bed, and I let him have at least three steps towards the door.

I catch his wrist and yank him back onto the bed then I climb on him.

"If you're too tired then please, I wouldn't mind doing all the work." I say, desperation clear in my voice.

"Why do you want to so bad? Why are you so persistent?" He asks.

"Remember that time when you told me you'd wait for me? You said you'd wait forever if that's how long it took. Well I'm here now. Don't tell me you've grown out of me?" I ask.

"You're still underaged." He says simply. "I'll wait another year." He continues.

I shock him when I rip open his dressy button down shirt. The buttons fly everywhere.

"What are you doing you idiot? Can't you hear. I'm too old for you." Levi says with a dark tone.

He can't scare me anymore. He's grown out of having sex with children. He was the age I am now when he first had sex with me. I'm a soldier damn it. I am mature in every way possible. I'll show Levi. I'll show him. I'll use the rifle under my bed if I have to.

"If you don't want to have sex with me close your eyes. If you're scared of law enforcement just tell them... I was more a man than you are and I raped you silent. You think I'm some kind of a kid? I apologize to stay out of drama. You think I'm some kind of pushover? I'll fulfill your nastiest dreams. In public I'm a kitten, but trust me I know when to let the lion out. I'll show you how much of a man I am, have you scream my name a little, slap me in the face, scratch me. We'll see who the man is after tonight." I say angrily.

I honestly don't know where all this anger is coming from. I have to let him have it. I haven't seen him in years and he denies me?

"Do what you want you brute. Take me against my will. It won't make me love you again. I don't consider you to be a lion. You're more of a spider, and tonight you just so happen to have caught me in your web. So I give you a choice. You can either take me tonight with some twisted idea that if you make me scream I'll consider you a man, then reconsider our lost relationship or you can think for once in your entire life. I'm sure if you tried to think on it with that tiny brain of yours you'd see that to really impress a guy like me, ripping me open isn't going to work, instead you should try to make me realize that I do want you back. Make me feel those emotions again. Wait until I seduce you. There, so decide what's it going to be?" Levi says.

"I won't object to either choice." He adds.

So I could either have one sided sex with Levi or try to win his heart. I can't win his heart. I don't know how. What did I do to win it in the first place? All I did was get lost in his stupid hallway. I didn't want to have sex with Levi if he didn't want it. That's not the kind of person I am. Now that I do actually think about it, all that stuff I had said had been a lie. I couldn't rape Levi. How did I expect to with this broken arm anyway?

I roll off of him with a sigh.

"I respect your choice." Levi says scooting off of my bed.

Insubordination. That's all I could think of. This is the first time I have done this to any of my superiors.

Levi opens the door.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my head hanging low.

I can feel Levi turn and look at me, then he's gone.

Don't cry, I tell myself.


	4. Chapter 4

"Eren! Come with me." Jean says.

My eyes fly open, taking in the sight of the shirtless chief.

"The commander has called a meeting. He says it's important. We need to go." He says.

I'm only wearing briefs. Mikasa has my clothes.

"Put these on." Jean says throwing me a pair of his shorts.

"You just brought those along in case of the event that I was only wearing briefs?" I ask with a smirk.

"I've been your SCPO for a while now and hey, I was right." He says.

I smile. It's the most natural smile I've had for a while. Why do I feel like this? Am I so rejected and unloved that I can develop feelings for literally the next man I see? I guess Levi was right, I am to young for him, but Jean isn't much older than me.

I'm all warm inside.

"Ok blush later we have to go." Jean says with a bright smile.

I slide on his shorts and I notice on the left leg it says Jean Kirchstein. Were these his gym shorts for Highschool or something?

I slide my boots on and follow Jean.

Half naked soldiers are all over the deck.

"In conclusion, the main reason I've decided to do this was because we are soldiers. It's our duty to serve and protect those of our homeland. So far we've lost 600 men. We weren't expecting the enemy to have as advanced a navy as ours. These men will not have died in vain. As I've said before the enemy installment is close by. After we launch the missiles and torpedoes it's safe to assume we are going to be attacked by their air force." Levi says.

No I don't want to go through this again. I'm still recovering from the last injuries I got from a plan just like this one. The Alaric was attacked before we even had time to shoot our missiles. The Green Linnet will no doubt suffer the same fate.

"Stoic do you copy?" Levi says clicking his radio.

"This is commander Erwin, I copy." The radio says.

"We're nearing the site, sir." Levi says. "Prepare the launch, over." He continues.

"Launch is under preparation. Over and out." Says the radio.

"Men. Nows the time to act. This ship has guns and missiles. If a plane comes... shoot it down." Levi says.

"Well!" Jean hollers. "You heard the commander! Go! Go! Go! Get to your stations!" He yells.

Hundreds of bare backed soldiers run to their positions. This is all happening too fast. When Jean leaves my side I feel so alone and I have no idea what to do. As a seaman's apprentice all I did was wear the equipment and raise the sails. I also did the repetitive chores like swabbing the deck and cleaning the dishes. I have no idea what to do.

"Jaeger! Get to your station!" Levi yells.

He runs back and forth and here and there all over the deck until he almost runs into me.

"Jaeger!" He says.

"Commander Levi, this is the Stoic we're all set and ready to go, over." The radio says.

"What's the captain saying? Over." Levi asks.

"Captain says now or never, we're about to launch. Over." This other commander says through the radio.

"Quickly following. Over and out." Levi says.

He clicks the radio again. "Jean how are those missiles looking?" Levi yells through it.

"They look fine. Ready to launch." Jean says.

"Well launch now!" Levi shouts.

"Sure thing. I'm just wondering... Where's Eren?" Jean asks.

Levi and I gasp and look at each other.

"He's up here with me. Why are you concerned?" Levi asks in a dark tone.

"Well, during battle we keep each other alive. Tell him to find me if planes are located. Because Eren... Eren is...... Nevermind. Tell him to find me. Over an out." Jean says.

Levi stares at me as he clicks the radio. "All units, mission is ago." He says.

A loud boom disrupts the havoc on deck followed by three more.

"I'm gonna talk to you later Eren, for now get out of my face." Levi says.

I walk away from him as he turns his face from mine.

Everyone watches the missiles soar through the air until they disappear. About a minute later we hear the crackling sound of destruction.

"EVERYONE THE TARGET WAS DESTROYED! THE PLAINS ARE ON THEIR WAY! GET TO THE GUNS! REMEMBER WE'RE PROTECTING THE THIS SHIP AND THE STOIC! GO!" Levi shouts.

Everyone on deck scurries around. They bring the huge guns from the corners, to the middle of the deck.

Something isn't right. I can tell by how the guns look that those aren't going to work. They are over rusted and they scream maintenance.

I run to back where Levi was standing. He isn't there but I continued to run looking for him.

Found him.

"Levi! Those guns! They aren't working properly." I shout.

"What do you mean? How do you know?" Levi asks. His face is so alarmingly intense.

"I've been an SA for a while. A seaman's apprentice." I start.

"Im not an idiot I know what an SA is. What's your point?" Levi says with frustration.

"As the apprentice, I've been around the guns a lot and if they shoot those they're going to explode on deck." I say.

"So what should we do about the planes? We're not sitting ducks." Levi growls.

"Call off the guns. I'll handle it." I say.

I won't be a sitting duck. I won't give up on life like I had back on the island. I'll save everyone. 

"Eren!" Levi yells as I start to run.

"I'll be right back! Call off the guns." I shout back at him.

Jean's shorts are great for running.

"Don't shoot!" I hear Levi yell.

I go down, down to level one, to my room underneath the bed and grab the rifle. Then back up, back up I run. When I get on deck everyone is holding hands forming a circle. They seem to be praying but stop to allow me in the middle, there I meet Levi. Of course he wouldn't be holding anyone's hand.

We hear the roaring sound of a few plane engines. I stand up straight and point my gun towards the sky. Then I wait. I keep waiting.

"Eren..." Levi whispers.

I look down at him and smile reassuringly.

"I'm not going to just throw away my life like it's a wrapper off a piece of candy." I say quoting him.

The first plane comes into sight. Everyone starts quivering and Jean pushes his way into the circle.

"Eren?" Jean says. He starts walking towards me but before he can reach me Levi stands in between us.

"Chief. The guns a flawed are there anymore missiles?" He asks.

"There aren't. So we are just sitting here? Waiting?" Jean asks with disbelief.

"What else is there?" Levi says.

Jean steps around Levi back to me.

"The guns are faulted?" Jean asks.

"They are. I've been an apprentice for six months I could just tell. If those things were fired we'd have been blown to bits." I say waiting for the plane to get closer.

"Wow you are remarkable. I'm literally forced to raise your rate. You've shown bravery, you've taken control in this impossible situation, you amaze me more and more everyday." Jean says.

It makes me lower my gun for a moment. I'm ranking up. Twice in one week. I'm now a Petty Officer 3rd class. I'm only three rates lower than Jean.

"You're now a PO3. You're going to return home a war hero." Jean says.

I can't stop smiling. He won't stop flattering me.

My broken arm gets tired of the guns weight quickly, but I don't lower it. I can't let all these people watching me down. I look to the left for a moment and I see Mikasa. She's smiling at me like a proud mother.

This is a pretty good last memory because come on everyone knows a pathetic rifle can't affect a war plane but I'm glad this happened. I can die a proud Petty Officer. I still don't know what a seaman does, let alone a petty officer, but I've always given 100%.

"Eren." Jean says. "If we live through this, as soon as we get back to our country I'm going to take you on a date." He continues.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." I say probably blushing.

The plain. It's nearing. I cock the gun and ready my finger on the trigger.

I hear an extremely loud boom and I'm instantly blinded. Were we stun bombed? Did I shoot? I open my eyes and I see fire. There's fire in the sky. Did I actually achieve it? About four more planes come and they're all shot down. So it wasn't me. Then who was it?

 

When the sky clears everyone rises to their feet.

"A successful mission?" Jean says in awe. "A 100% successful mission?" He says happily.

Everyone's happy. Jean picks me up and a lot of other people follow him lifting me like some kind of hero.

I get down after a few minutes.

"I completely forgot about the SS-173" Jean says. "It's been tailing us the entire time, ever since we got off that island." Jean says.

Oh that's right. That submarine that took care of the first enemy's base. Why haven't they contacted us at all?

"So it looks like we're gonna live." Jean says.

"Mmmm hmmm." I say taking a step closer to him.

"I was serious when I asked you on that date." Jean says.

My smile is wide.

"Well I have to go. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon." He says.

"I will." I say. We both smile and awkwardly laugh as we walk away from each other.

I walk back to my room seemingly in a daze.

Jean. He's Levi's exact opposite.

I open my room door and Levi's sitting on my bed.

"H-hello." I say awkwardly standing at my doorway.

"Close the door." Levi says.

His behavior is always so unpredictable.

I close the door.

"Sit by me." He says patting the space on the bed next to him.

I slowly walk to him and sit besides him.

"Those are some nice shorts you're wearing." He says.

I guess he read the leg.

"It's not what you think." I say.

Wait, why am I saying this? He had already established that last night our relationship was terminated.

"You like him back?" Levi asks.

"Seriously why do you care?" I ask annoyance clear in my voice.

"Whoa somebody grew some balls." He says, sounding more amused than I like.

"Look I don't know what you're getting out of all this but I'm not just gonna wait around for you Levi. You were right. If you're not interested I need to move on." I say.

I'm not sure if I mean it or not.

"Eren. All it took was a little competition. I want..." He starts.

He doesn't seem able to finish his statement.

"Come on Eren you know what I'm saying." He says under his breath.

"Actually I don't. That's the difference between you and Jean. He speaks his mind." I say.

Then I wonder, why did I just compare the two?

"Eren I'm not used to losing. Don't tell me that..." Levi begins before I cut him off.

"This isn't a game Levi. You don't win or lose. Don't you understand at least that? You never say the right things so right now is your last chance to speak your mind." I say confidently.

"Wasn't I your first love? How could you even consider the chief over me?" Levi asks seriously.

"You seemed uninterested. It would have been childish for me to consider chasing you." I reply blankly.

"Chasing? I never told you to chase me. I told you to remind me of the feelings I felt back then. I told you to wait until I seduced you, instead of sleeping with an uninterested man." Levi says looking me deep in the eye.

"Ok. What is the point you're trying to make?" I ask breaking the eye contact.

"You were always slow." Levi says with a smirk.

He kicks off his boots and scoots further into my bed, against the headboard.

"I'm trying to seduce you." Levi says. He unbuttons his shirt slowly.

This is so out of character for him. Is he being for real right now? I stare at him in awe.

"Have you lost interest Eren?" Levi says unbuckling his belt.

"N-no I..." I mutter. I hadn't. How could I ever.

"Good, then get over here." He says.

I kick off my shoes and crawl towards him.

"So this is pretty off topic, but how did you end up with the chief's shorts? After I refused to have sex with you did you crawl in bed with him?" Levi asks.

"How could you say that?" I say feeling really offended. No matter how many times I "what if" I know nothing could work between Jean and I. I'd always miss Levi. He's my first love.

"I couldn't sleep with another man." I say sliding the shorts off.

"So what about that nurse?" Levi asks.

"I couldn't sleep with another person. I couldn't. Nothing can compare to the first time you touched me. Even though you only said it during sex I knew you loved me. When you left I was broken and now that I found you, I feel like I can be fixed." I say.

"I'll fix you real nice." He says crawling over me and sliding his knee in between my thighs. His finger tips slip under the hem of my underwear. "Maybe you should leave these little panties on." He says lowering his lips to mine. Our tongues dance around each other's for a moment.

"Levi." I say breaking the kiss. "Let's try something." I say mimicking him.

"That's my line." He says trying to capture my lips again. I move my head. "That kiss reminded me of so much... I need more. Stop your petty resisting and let me be in charge like it was in high school." He says. He attempts the kiss again and I simply let him have it. My mouth is full of his saliva and tongue and in no time I'm gasping for air.

"Levi." I whisper, tearing my mouth away from his.

I slide my healthy hand inside of his pants, into his underwear and on top of his butt.

"Let me put mine inside of you this time." I say. I slide my finger to his hole and press it gently. It slowly starts to open and I sink my finger in halfway.

"Ahh~" Levi moans against my cheek. He shifts his hips and grabs my wrist, holding it still. With his other hand he tightly grip my injured arm, making me yell.

"I told you I'm not interested in being ripped open. I'm the kind of guy that likes ripping others." Levi says. He gives my arm another firm squeeze before spreading my legs and bending my knees. He curls his fingers under my underwear and firmly yanks, tearing the thin fabric off of me.

His fingers glide up the front of my penis. "Has it been four years? Look at how big you are now." Levi says.

"Oh please just fuck me Levi." I say impatiently.

"Hey. It's been four years I'm just reacquainting myself with the parts of you I used to know so well." He says. He slides his pants down and presses his penis against mine making us both shiver.

"I remember." I whisper. "We d-did this eight t-times." I continue. My eyes roll to the back of my head.

"You mean had sex?" Levi mumbles in my ear. His hand slithers in between our bodies to hold our penises together and he moves his hips forward and backward slowly, sliding his penis against mine. "Or this position?" He asks.

My head falls back and I'm unable to speak. This is what's been missing from my life. I've been missing this man for four years. I've been missing these feelings, my life has been empty really.

"Eren. I'll make you cum four years worth." Levi says directly in my ear.

His penis slides up and down along mine. I moan as a warm liquid seeps out of me and lubricates everything. His fingers tickle as they search for a more secure grip on my dick.

"Levi why did you leave me?" I ask as it crosses my mind.

He stops moving for a second. "Are you sure you didn't leave me?" He asks.

He always talks in riddles when he's trying to make a point.

"I'm sure it was you who moved away without telling anyone, your friends, the boy you were fucking ever so often..." I bark.

I was so empty and so alone until I became completely numb. The person I gave my everything to, body, feelings, time, energy... Heart, had just vanished from my life without so much as a letter.

"Don't get so angry Eren. It turns me on." Levi says.

"Ok Levi I'm asking you a serious question. Could you try to answer it seriously? Just this once..." I plea. I have to know why.

"You stopped enjoying it didn't you?" He asks.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask.

"After a few times of doing it... You stopped liking it... And became disgusted with me right?" He says with absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

I am speechless. "W-why on earth would you think that? Why would you ever even assume that?" I ask in a hushed tone.

"The way you'd look at me. Afterwards. You'd shiver when we slept together afterwards, shaking in fear. It wasn't fair what I did to you." He explains. He then resumes his advance on my penis.

"D'ahhh~" I yell. I ball my fists. "S-so you left me!" I scream.

"That's right. Either way I'd be doing the wrong thing. If I didn't leave my lust would have torn you apart. We would have tried every style in the book. Now, since I did leave I realize I left a broken fragile boy behind." Levi explains. His voice is hasty and rushed, like it used to be when he was nearing the edge.

"Well yeah. I didn't care that you were 18... I only looked at you like that because you'd never listen to me during sex and you always wanted things your way. You're still like that I see. I shook at night because of the after effects of multiple orgasms.., I was twelve, how could you not know my body couldn't handle six orgasms a night? All you had to do was listen to me." I say.

"Okay. Let's put all of that aside... Just for tonight. Let's have the most intense orgasms ever. Now that you're older I'm sure you can handle what I have in mind for you." Levi says.

My eyes widen.


	5. Chapter 5

He doesn't listen to me. Ever.

"Why can't I put mine inside of you this time?" I ask.

Levi scoots away from me.

My penis is wet and cold and now, all alone.

"D-don't stop!" I yell. It slips from my mouth quicker than I can counter it.

I place both my hands on Levi's abs. Wow! They're much bigger than they used to be, if that's even possible because they were big back then and enormous now. My fingers absorb the heat and it spreads throughout my body.

I wrap my arms around him and hug tightly. He left because he thought I was disgusted by him? That's completely impossible. Why would I be disgusted with someone I love so dearly? I want to own him. I want him to be all mine, touched like this by nobody but myself.

"Help me!" I yell.

"Help you what?" Levi asks trying to wring himself out of the hug.

I grab on tighter and flip him over onto his back. It's exotic. I had never seen him in this position. I love the way he looks underneath me.

"Hey. Idiot. What are you thinking?" Levi asks frowning up at me.

I slide his pants down his legs, trying to be without his contact for as short a time as possible.

 

"Help me. Levi I need you to let me violate you just a little." I explain.

It's silent for a minute.

"Just a little... By what?" Levi says. "What are you thinking climbing on top of me like this?" He asks expecting a legitimate answer.

"I want to taste you. And I still want to get inside of you." I whisper. My cheeks heat up.

"You were already inside of me, you retard." Levi groans.

"Not just fingers... Stop playing dumb." I whine.

"Eren stop whining. It turns me on more." Levi says. Although it annoys me, by the looks of his penis it was actually true. It begins to stiffen and straighten, firmly poking me in the abdomen. "I'll tell you what, Officer..." He starts up again. It's hard to believe I'm actually an officer now. Hearing him say it is even more unbelievable. "Since we're in the position already, if you ride me well, make me cum or yell, I'll give you a little reward later." He explains.

"Yeah right. You're going to fall asleep like you used to." I say.

"I already told you, I would never be sleep. I'd observe your shaking for a few hours and then I would go to sleep. Anyways do we have a deal?" Levi asks impatiently. "Hurry up and decide." He says.

"Fine." I groan.

"Well you're old enough now. I shouldn't have to help you into every position." Levi says. His voice sounds so impatient so I take my time. I slowly adjust my legs and hips so I'm kneeling over his penis with my thighs stretched on the side of each of his knees.

"Stop torturing me. Lower yourself." Levi says.

His palms softly touch my thighs with a shaky moan and he quickly removes them. Its strange because he only ever touches me when it's necessary. Is he losing control? Is it possible that I can make Levi lose control? 

As I hover directly over his penis I feel his fingertips lightly brush along my thighs.

That's right. The person on top is the person in control.

"Eren..." Levi whines. He removes his fingers from my body and his breathing deepens. "Please Eren. Hurry. I can't stand it any longer." He whispers.

I look down to see he's telling the truth. His penis is painfully swollen and the vain on the side is bulging.

"Ha-AH~" he moans as I wrap my fingers around his dick. "Eren... Guhaa!! Please... Please stop. Please just lower yourself. Mmph!" He says pitifully. His face turns a bright red and he covers most of it with the back of his hand. "Stop... Stop toying with me" he whispers. I wonder what people would think if they saw the commander in this state.

Levi pants heavily. "You really are suffering aren't you?" I tease. I let go of his wet penis and place my hands on his stomach.

"Eren." He whispers as he quickly sits up. "No reward." He breathes into my face. Before I have time to react his hands are on my hips, pushing them down. The very feeling of his skin on mine takes my body to a chill. I can feel it rubbing against me and in no time it threatens to enter me. I grab hold of Levi's shoulders.

"Go ahead. Put it in." I say calmly. Although I don't let it show in my voice I'm pretty excited.

"As if I need your permission." He says. With that he sinks me unto his throbbing penis. I haven't felt this kind of stretch in a while, but I've never forgotten about it. Somehow I just know the commander is mine. I know he'd never do a thing like this with anyone else but me. I'm the only one who ever has, and ever will see the commander like this. I'm the only one who ever has and ever will do things like this with him. This is an honor that is personally privileged to me.

Levi makes a slow rhythm bringing my hips in. His mouth is slightly open and his breathing is choppy and uneven.

"Please Levi." I moan. "Let me hear your cries. I want to hear that voice I always heard at times like these." I barely manage to say. My face heats up. "And I know you didn't mean it then, but you could tell me you love me." I say.

Levi instantly stops his movements and gazes deep into my eyes.

"What?"

"Eren."

We both whisper at the same time. In a split second my face is pulled down into a sloppy kiss. It's only sloppy because Levi allows me to take control.

After a while he breaks the kiss, but I still want more. I attach my mouth to his and stick my tongue in his mouth. He allows the assault for a minute before he quickly pushes it out with his own.

"Just wait a minute." He says.

My hips twitch and out of impulse begin to move on their own. I need Levi to help me relieve myself of all the stress of everything. His hands lock my hips securely.

"Calm down." Levi says.

I take a few deep breaths and lower my arms from his shoulders to my side.

"What were you saying a minute ago." Levi says with an eyebrow higher than the other.

"W-when?" I ask. My bottom lip quivers. I need this orgasm and I need it quickly.

"I know you're retarded but could you at least try to have some sense? You were mumbling something. You said I didn't mean it when I said I loved you.... Or am I hearing things and have caught your idiocy?" He says. His face looks very impatient.

"That's exactly what I said." I admit.

"Why do you suppose I didn't mean it those time I said it?" He asks.

I look away from him and he quickly turns my face back focused on him. He is my superior.

"You only said it while we were having sex." I say.

Levi laughs gently. "What other time did you expect? At school? What? During lunch? In the hallway? Did you want me to interrupt one of your classes and confess to you?" Levi asks rhetorically.

"Actually a few of those don't sound too bad." I say matter-of-factly.

"It amazes me how quickly your brain is shutting down. You complete idiot, I was, and still am way too old for you. Didn't you skip five grades? Aren't you supposed to be so smart?" Levi says. He actually sounds pretty annoyed and I can't bare looking at him.

"Four." I say correcting him.

When I look back into his eyes they are dark and scary. His slight smirk doesn't make him any less scary looking.

He slides his legs from under me then pounces me.

He looks down on my quivering body. "You always said that back in Highschool. Now. I'll make you scream just like then. I'll make you cry and I'll let you scratch my arms like you used to. I've never felt bad about making you cry, even that time you thought I ripped you." He says. It makes me angry. Is he really making fun of me right now?

He grabs my wrists and holds them above my head with a hand. I thought it should be harder to restrain them with this cast on, even though it was soft it was pretty thick.

"Is it really necessary to hold me down?" I ask.

"Let's just say it's for old times sake." Levi says.

He draws his hips back then fiercely slams into me, forcing a gasp from my throat.

"If only you could see how dumb you look. What are you holding it all in for? Just let it out. Please don't cry, tears I mean. You used to do that for no reason. After the first few times we did it you started telling me to stop midway." Levi says, slamming into me again. I hiss painfully.

"Stop Levi. Let's stop. I don't want to anymore." He says mimicking me. He slams into me again and my head goes back, mouth hanging open.

"Then..." He starts. He slows down his movements, slowly pulling back, then softly and even more slowly thrusting back in. It feels heavenly. It feels like the first time. "Then you'd give up fighting me, and you'd just lie there like a good dog and accept it." He says leaning to whisper in my ear.

My lower stomach muscles tighten and a moan escapes my lips.

"I still remember how you like it Eren. I still remember what makes you cum the most. Do you remember how we would always start off rough and then finish like this? Remember that time I told you to show me your room? Do you remember what I did to you in there, on your soft little race car bed?" Levi asks while slowly pushes himself in and pulling himself out of me.

It was getting harder and harder to think but of course I remember. That was the first time Levi had ever touched me sexually. He made me cum twice. The first time with his fingers and the second with his mouth.

"I can see your face lighting up. You do remember don't you. You were afraid your dad would come home. What would your dad have thought if he came in and saw my fingers in your butt and mouth around your..." He starts.

"Okay!" I shout. "S-shut up. I'm about to cum. I remember all of it." I whisper.

"Ah much more bossy than I remember." He says with a gentle laugh. He suddenly stops thrusting as I moan deeply. I'm sure he meant to postpone my orgasm but it's far too late. It's already here.

 

When I come back to my senses Levi is laying on top of me, just looking at my face.

"Welcome back." He says with a simple smirk.

"Hi." I whisper. That was the routine back then too. Whenever I came Levi would always welcome me back and I'd say hi.

"I swear you haven't changed a bit." He says.

"So did you cum? I'll help you." I offer.

"I came a while ago... Sometime when you were on my lap." He says.

So he came already and managed to somehow make me cum with a soft dick? That's actually pretty impressive.

"Do you remember that time.. The last time we did it until now?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?" He says. The tone of his voice makes it seem like he's knows exactly what I mean, and exactly what I'm going to ask him to do.

"Maybe you should try to use your tiny brain for once in your life." I say trying to sound intimidation like him.

"That's my line idiot." He says.

"Seriously." I say.

He blinks at me a few times, then sighs deeply.

"Yes I remember. It was the time we went to my house. You were crying because I stuck it in from behind for the first time. I still don't know why you were so upset, there isn't really a difference. Then you were on your hands and knees and you started to cry because you said you felt something tear. I stuck my finger inside to check and nothing was wrong, nothing was torn." He says talking rapidly fast.

"Wait, wait, wait." I say interrupting him. "There was something you said to me." I say.

"When. You know, I talk a lot." He says.

"I mean, right before you pushed me onto my knees. You whispered something in my ear. What was it." I ask glaring at him, directly into his eyes.

I can tell he's trying to think of something clever to say so he won't have to admit what he said.

"I think... I said... I love you." Levi says. He sounds so defeated and it makes me laugh so hard.

"Well. Did you... Mean it?" I ask insecurely.

"What the hell are you saying? You think it was just heat-of-the-moment banter? Don't tell me you're that stupid. When have I ever said something I didn't mean?" He says.

I actually have to think about this for a moment.

 

-

 

"You! I know you!" A voice calls that I faintly remember.

This is the second time I've been lost today. Although I'm lost this hall looks very familiar, then it hits me.

The boy behind me speeds up his walking. I recognize him. He was here when I got lost in this hall last week.

"You're that twelve year old." He says walking by my side. "Do you remember me?" He asks. I nod and he looks surprised. "What's my name?" He asks doubtfully.

"You're Levi. Not Mr. Levi, just Levi." I answer. He laughs cheerfully and it makes me blush.

"You're really something kid." He says. "So what's a twelve year old doing in Highschool?" He asks. I'm surprised that question hadn't come sooner.

"I skipped a few grades." I explain.

"Wow really? That's pretty cool. How'd you get so smart?" He asks.

I sigh. "No attention from my parents. So I just devoted my time to learning." I say. I wasn't as descriptive as I should've been but that basically covers it.

"I know what you mean. I've signed up for the military. I don't have parents at all." He says.

It makes me sad. I don't know how to console him because that just sounded pretty deep.

"I've joined the military too. I'm hoping to get into the navy." I say softly.

Levi stops walking and I stop with him. "What?" I ask.

"Me too!" He yells grabbing my arm. "I'm already halfway done training. I'm a seaman recruit now and by next year I'll be a seaman's apprentice!" He shouts. I don't think I've ever seen someone so excited in all my life.

"Really? That's awesome." I say smiling.

"In about five years me and my friend Erwin are hoping to be commanders. Actually in five years I'm going to be a commander. I won't hold back." He says with a wide smile.

"I believe you." I say.

He surprises the absolute crap out of me, as he gives me a one armed hug.

"I could tell you anything." He says.

My eyes widen. Could I have an upperclassmen as a friend?

"I'd listen." I say.

He smiles. "Maybe you could be my apprentice." Levi says.

"You could be my commander." I say. "It's better to think of it this way." I say.

"Yeah because I'll fight for it harder." He says.

I can see the library and I know if we keep going straight I'll run into the class I was looking for.

"Levi?" I ask.

He turns to face me.

"Are we friends?" I ask.

"Course we are." He says. He grabs my hand and I gasp.

What's going on? This is just a friendly gesture. Why is my heart beating so fast?

"You're still lost aren't you?" He asks.

I look at the library, then back up at him and nod.

"Ha. Don't be so stupid. By now you should know your way around. Since I'm here I guess I'll help you find your class." He says with a slight smirk.

We ended up taking the longest route to my class.

"Is this it?" He asks after about twenty-five minutes of small talk.

"I think so." I say.

My cheeks are red and my fingers are sweaty from holding his hand for nearly thirty minutes. I adjust my fingers so I'm holding his hand more comfortably.

"Oh." He says looking up at me and releasing my hand.

If I had only dealt with the discomfort we'd still be holding hands. Darn.

"You know there are several shortcuts we could've taken here." He says.

"Oh." I say simply. I don't want to give myself away. What would he think if I had said "I wanted to be lost in the school with you as long as possible." He'd be freaked out.

"I love how you're so smart but you can't figure out the simplest things." He says. "Well see yah later." He says. He digs his knuckles into my scalp and walks away.

"Eren." He calls from down the hall.

I jump. Had he noticed me watching him walk away?

"If we ever hold hands again, try not to grip so tightly." He says with a laugh.

My heart skips a beat and I forget how to breathe.

"Oh yeah Eren? What period is your lunch?" He asks.

"Oh uh it's fifth period." I stutter.

"That's my free hour. I'm coming to see you." He says turning away.

I watch him jog away until the bell rings and the hallway is flooded with people.

Why would he want to come and see me? That does work out pretty well though. I was going to "get lost" every day before third period in the hopes that I'd bump into him.

The two periods pass very slowly and I find myself half running to the lunchroom. I don't even grab food, I simply run to my seat. It's just Armin. 

Armin is an ok. He saw that I was a loner and decided to offer me a seat next to him and his friends.

I'm extremely disappointed Levi isn't here. After a while people begin to empty their trays, then their seats. 

I almost lose all hope until a pair of warm hands cover my eyes. It makes me jump at first.

"Eren. Guess who it is." The voice croons in my ear.

I lean my head back to see who it is but of course my eyes are covered.

"Want to... Right here?" The voice asks.

I'm confused. I can feel a warmth coming towards my face and then there's a stream of breath.

"No, not yet." He says and my eyes are uncovered.

I look up at his smiling face.

"Hey kid. I'm here." He says. "I always tell the truth and I never break my promises." He continues.

 

-

 

He always told the truth and he never broke his promises. That was always him. I almost forgot the times when he was at least outwardly happy. He always says what he means. He always keeps his promises. This man... Is completely... Wonderful...

"Hey idiot. I'm talking to you." Levi says.

"What?" I ask. I notice Levi is no longer on top of me.

"Over here." He says lightly slapping my face a few times.

I look to my right. He lays with his thigh in between mine and his left fingers tangled with the fingers on my broken arm.

"I don't want to repeat it now." Levi says shaking his head.

"No! No! Please! Please tell me what you said!" I yell.

"I said I love you asshole." He says.

He brings my fingers up to his lips and leaves them there.

I smile, and that's literally all I can do. In the middle of war I can still smile like this. I can still smile and actually mean it. He loves me. He actually does. He can tell me to my face that he loves me.

"Well..." He says. "What do you think?" He asks.

"I love you Levi. I love you so much. I do. I want you to stay by me forever. When you left me I felt worthless. You left me, you did, but before you told me so much. You made so many promises. You promised that I'd be your seaman and here we are. You promised you'd come for me that time at lunch. Then there you were. I shouldn't have doubted you and I'm so glad you always keep your promises. I'm so glad you're here now." I say. I feel a very grateful tear roll down my cheek.

"Ah don't cry on me. Of course I'm here now. I told you I'd be here. If you think hard enough you gave me that shove that I needed. You were that person, the only person, who believed in me. You told me I could be your commander and I wanted nothing more. Stop crying I'm not all that great. It's not really a good thing that you'll have this old guy riding you every night." He says.

"I think it is." I say wiping some tears away with my free hand.

"I always call you stupid because I know you're smart. I'm the stupid one." Levi says.

It makes me smile. He could actually admit that. I've never thought of him as stupid.

"How are you stupid?" I ask.

"When I first saw you on the deck with your twisted little arm and burnt back, you remembered me. I have no idea why I didn't want you to remember. I wanted you to think I didn't remember for no reason. Actually it was for a reason, because I'm stupid." He explains. It makes me laugh.

"Then I'm even more stupid. Of course you knew who I was the whole time. Out of all the soldiers you approached me. Then you were touching me. You bastard you twisted my arm. Then you were touching me." I say.

"Wow. You are pretty stupid. I even told you in your ear I know who you are." Levi says.

"You made a face like you had just realized it." I say in my defense.

"I made that face because you remembered me. I thought you wouldn't have after four years." Levi groans.

"Well I think that makes us equally stupid." I conclude.

"So... What are we gonna do when we go back home?" Levi asks.

"Well I want to be with you. I don't ever want you to leave me. I want to live with you. You can stay at my house. Remember how you always used to make fun of the race cars on my bed?" I ask with a painful laugh.

"Yes. Remember that one time I snuck into your room? Your dad was home wasn't he?" Levi asks.

My face heats up. "Yeah stop talking about it." I beg.

"I climbed in your window and woke you up. Then I rolled you over and.." He begins.

"Ok stop." I say cutting him off.

"Why?" He asks.

"Well I'd rather not remember the time I woke up with a mouth full of dick." I say.

"Ooh that's very nasty of you to say. But Eren. You swallowed it all." Levi says.

"Ok if you don't stop right now... You act like you didn't do mine right after." I say.

"Ok. I didn't swallow though." He says.

"I really hate you." I say snatching. My broken arm out of his grip.

"That's really mean Eren." He says.

I ignore him.

"Eren?" He calls. "Our legs are still touching." He says. "I think my dick is still in your ass too." He says.

I scoot away from him on the bed and I do feel his penis slide out of me.

"Did you feel that?" He asks.

"Stop talking to me." I say.

"Wow you're really mean to me. I bet you don't talk to Jean this way." He says.

"I also don't have sex with Jean. I've also never sucked Jean's dick. Shall I continue?" I say with an attitude.

"Good point." He says. He scoots closer to me, up until the point where he is pressed firmly against me. He snakes his arm over my body and intwines his fingers with mine once more.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Don't be mad at me. I just like embarrassing you. Don't be mad." Levi says.

"That doesn't answer my question." I say. At this point my attitude is just a joke.

"I just want to hold my lovers hand while I sleep. Is that a crime?" Levi whispers into my neck. 

"N-no." I say with a shiver. "L-Levi?" I say.

He grabs my face with his hand making my cheeks poke out. He turns my face to his and kisses me slowly a few times on the lips.

"Levi I love you." I say when my mouth is finally free.

"I know. I love you too." He says. "I'm sorry I pretended not to remember you." He says stroking my arm.

"I'm glad I noticed you." I say. "You didn't have to pretend not to know me." I say.

"What did you expect?" Levi asks. "Was I supposed to just stroll up to you and say 'Hey Eren, remember me?'" He asks.

 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Ok this is my last story for a while I hope you guys enjoy it. See yahs in July. I'll still reply to comments and stuff so yeah ^•^
> 
> Kittyotakuwriter this story is especially for you!!!!


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